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When news broke that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it thrust substance use disorder back into the national conversation. However, parents affected by a child’s addiction are concerned the discussion will center on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the more widespread risks of the condition.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the news. They were merely familiar with the Reiners professionally, yet they feel a connection: their own son also became addicted at 15 to opioids and later heroin, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” says Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a relative’s addiction, housing instability from addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to hospitalization or loss, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how influential you are,” stated Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the tragic events will make people “very wary of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and the legal system. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really a threat and the potential for causing violence.”

She also cautioned against jumping to conclusions about the alleged role of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is not known whether substance use or psychological distress were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may increase aggression, a brutal act like a double homicide is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with dread—not directed at their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get that call or that knock on the door telling you that he was never coming home,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the hospital saying a son was not breathing; from jail, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction was caused by some parental failure; feeling responsible for a child’s actions; and dreading the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can change on the spot. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about three in four people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can get over any other type of illness, you can get over this condition, too. You can heal and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a college degree, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “save” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to succeed,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they cared for him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone addicted to drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and take it.”